Friday, June 17, 2011

Killing a God

There was a crusade last night. No one noticed, no one cared, as was to be expected. Humanity, so selfish, cannot see the eternal war of sun and shadow all around them, how would they recognize the difference between their own clashings and that of a higher cause? Some humans evolved further than that, and recognized the shadows and the sun were not insignificant. Shadow told me to prepare last night, we were going on a crusade. Understood. Tied up the bandages on eye extra tight, took the Child-Toy to a safe spot in an abandoned and unknown shack to rest. Child would be massacred if he went there. There was even a chance I would be too.

A god died last night. No one noticed, no once cared, as to be expected. Shadow has taken over another god's domain, swallowed it whole like a serpent to a frightened, shivering, horrified little mouse. When humanity sees 'god', they look to the skies, the clouds, they look too high and never notice the deities all around them. Humanity is stupid. Worship not the sky, humans cannot fly. Seek not the invisible, understand first the seen. Looking for ghosts while unable to see within themselves. Seeking some form of holy existence without defining 'holy' or 'existence'. Stupid, foolish humans.

With Shadow, the darkness fought and we won a temporary war. The nameless god put up a fight with her follower, but did not expect to see Shadow rise up and assault her from behind, those large tendrils of pure power piercing through. So awed was I, I had neglected to pay attention and the nameless god sliced my belly open in passing through death writhing. I was close enough to use what I was given by Shadow, cannot describe it here for the sake of privacy but, managed to take down the oppositional deity, pinned it down with my spirit as Shadow feasted. It pierced my chest but not my skin, grabbing at my lungs and tearing into tissue, mere death throes.

I watched a god's life flicker and die in my hands.

Shadow was quick to come to my aid once the feast had finished, filling my injured lungs with the stolen power and healing enough to keep me alive long enough to help myself. Could feel Shadow's power, strong, vibrating the air with the eternity caged within. Shadow left, to do what is necessary to stake the new claim, leaving me to fetch the Child-Toy once again.  Once there, I stitched my open wounds with the knitting needles and thread- nowhere near as superior as that of the buildings of white and needles and pills, but it will do.

I am... proud to be a follower of Shadow.

Monday, June 13, 2011


Head pounding, barely thinking, getting this down because important to self. Expecting no one to really read this or care, self doesn't even care, this headache... Ngh... Red fog, barely seeing...

Dream, yes.

Dream was... woman, faceless woman with long arms and feathers ripping out of her skin. Kissed me with no lips, embraced, splattered with blood. Struggled and screamed, so small, so weak, disgusted and horrified by feathers wet with crimson falling. Not know how good there or why. Woman let me go, falling freefall. Shadow leaped up, smothered, choking as if trying to breathe through mud. Felt the bile in throat, filling lungs, breathing liquid. Struggled to surface, climbed to cliff of sharp glass, cut into skin as climbed up and hacked out the muddy blackness. Came spilling down, like maggots, writhing in throat and lips and tongue. Fell to side, catch breath, ignore pain of sharp glass. When got up, half of flesh ripped away, leaving only bone and sinew. Seemed not to notice at the time, then stood and ran somewhere, not know where, only remember... trees of flesh and faces, screaming, black liquid spilling out of teeth...

Woman in the sky now, in a parting of the trees of flesh and faces, feathers falling so coated with blood. Woman screamed, or thought it was a scream, sounded like shrill shriek. Bones exploded from her skin, disintegrating into the black liquid, consuming her like maggots wiggling over her. So disgusting. The only thing left were her eyeballs, fell from sky and smashed onto glass-shard floor, soft popping noises as punctured and leaked yellow fluid. Fluid rose and blackened, surging into itself like the maggots eating her flesh, before forming childhood self. Childhood self ran to self, gripping ribs, speaking things did not want to hear or remember. Ripped shard of glass from glass ground, stabbed child self over and over and over and over and over. Bathed in organs and intestines, spilling onto self again and again as if could clean of all memories and words heard and remembered. Woke up in cold sweat, turned and vomited onto ground beside self.

Dreams uncommon, usually never sleep... Always alarming and frightening... Shadow said dreams contain meaning... not know what that one means...

Headache. Want to stop consciousness. Like heartbeat, only in head, painful, painful...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Explanation Attempts

First Blog Post.

Name Soulless. Obey Shadow's rule. Shadow being of darkness, all silhouettes and nights belong to Shadow.

I was once human. Threw that life away. Use humans for main source of food now. I am hunter of humans, kill Shadow's targets, allow Shadow to do better things. Shadow's domain is all things away from illumination. I understand, sound a bit like a preacher, will back off for now... for now... Was questioned multiple times of Shadow and self... Will explain here, hopefully answer all questions.

I was once a human child. Horrifying concept. The human called 'Mother' nothing more than a drunken whore. The human called 'Father', withering away in prison. Learned from early age that all humans nothing more than scum. Learned to hate human blood in own veins, same blood as drunken whore and criminal. Despised all humans soon. Tried to bleed out humanity with kitchen knife. 'Mother' came in, stopped me. Brought me to hospital, talk to whitecoat with fake smile and honeyed words. Knew what whitecoat human was up to. Humans never to be trusted. Refused medication offered to keep down emotions. Whitecoat wanted to turn me more human, fill me with more corruption. Despised them all.

Shadow came, offered me way out. Pressed knife to my hand. I killed 'mother' human, whitecoat human, all that had lied and filled with corruption. Then, bled out the humanity, feasted on the blood of corrupt humans. Followed Shadow, cared by Shadow. Shadow kept me alive, let me play, settled my fears. Humanity nothing more than corruption... but Shadow... In Shadow's nihility was purity.

Now, Shadow's patient follower. Eliminate Shadow's targets, feast on the corrupt blood. Care for child-toy by side, something Shadow brought. I do not expect others to understand... Just know Shadow watches, always watches.